Have you ever felt tears welling up during a tough feedback session?

Or is your blood boiling when a colleague takes credit for your work?

Maybe you've frozen, lost for words, when challenged in front of senior leadership?

We've all been there. When emotions take over, we struggle to keep our heads straight and stay professional.

Being an executive isn't about never having emotions (no one wants to work for a robot), it's about learning how to manage them strategically. Choosing when to share and when to keep your cool.

And like most executive skills, it’s learnable. So instead of avoiding high stakes situations let me share five practical techniques from leaders who've mastered emotional regulation, with real examples you can use immediately.

The Executive's Guide to Staying Calm Under Pressure

1. The Higher Stakes Mindset (Alex Hormozi)

This coping mechanism is all about changing your perspective (a.k.a. tricking your brain).

Instead of framing high-stakes situations as challenges, see them as preparation for bigger things ahead.

Every difficult moment is training for your future leadership role. Instead of seeing stress as something to avoid, use it as practice for the higher-stakes situations that come with advancement.

For example: You're presenting your strategy to the executive team and you're nervous about pushback.

Your heart is racing, and you keep second-guessing your recommendations.

Here's where the technique comes in. Instead of thinking, "I hope they don't challenge my assumptions"

Try: "This is practice for when I'll be presenting to the board of directors or leading company-wide transformations."

Why this works: It reframes your anxiety from problem into practice. You're not just delivering a presentation - you're building muscles for bigger leadership moments ahead.

2. Permission to Feel (Brené Brown)

This technique is about creating space between feeling and response, allowing you to choose your reaction rather than being controlled by it.

When you experience challenging circumstances, instead of suppressing emotions, acknowledge them first.

For example: You're in a leadership meeting when a peer publicly criticizes your strategy, suggesting it's "short-sighted" and "hasn't been thought through." You feel your face getting hot, and that familiar defensive energy rising.

Here's where the technique comes in. Silently name what you're feeling: "I'm feeling defensive and embarrassed right now." Then remind yourself: "I'm choosing how to respond."

Instead of reacting immediately, you might say: "I appreciate that perspective. Could you share your specific concerns? I want to make sure I understand them fully."

Why this works: Acknowledging emotions reduces their power over you. By naming the feeling, you create mental space to choose a response that aligns with your leadership image rather than your momentary emotion.

3. Pattern Interruption (Tony Robbins)

This technique is about physically breaking an emotional state before it escalates. By changing your physical state, you can quickly shift your emotional state.

For example: You're discussing a recent incident between your team and your peer’s team. The peer keeps blaming you and refuses to let you speak. You feel a mix of rage and frustration as you feel like you are invisible.

Here's where the technique comes in. Instead of yelling or rage responding to their email with what you really think:

• Take a slow sip of water

• Stand up to "check something at the door"

• Ask for a minute and turn the camera off (if virtual)

• Suggest a break to let everyone think and regroup the next day

These actions interrupt your thought pattern. It literally kicks you out of your own head so you can step out of the moment, regain composure and think about a more appropriate response.

(By the way, the same applies to getting an email that shifts blame to your direction and has every executive on cc. Don't hit reply, take a walk!)

Why this works: Physical interruption breaks the emotional spiral before it takes over. It gives your rational mind time to catch up with your emotional response.

4. Mental Models (Naval Ravikant)

This is about using frameworks to shift from emotional to analytical thinking. These models help you see situations objectively rather than personally.

For example: Your skip-level manager just gave you tough feedback about your leadership style. Your throat is tightening, tears are threatening, and you're struggling to maintain composure as they continue talking.

Here's where the technique comes in. Ask yourself these specific questions:

• "What would I advise my best friend receiving this feedback?"

• "How can this feedback make me a better leader?"

• "What's the opportunity hidden in this conversation?"

Instead of spiraling into emotions, you might realize: "This is a valuable insight into how I'm perceived, and addressing it could accelerate my growth."

Why this works: These questions activate your prefrontal cortex (logical thinking) and quiet your amygdala (emotional response). They turn a potentially emotional moment into a strategic one.

5. Fear-Setting (Tim Ferriss)

This is one of my favorite tools because it’s proactive.

You can use fear-setting to transform vague anxieties into concrete scenarios you can plan for. This technique is particularly powerful for high-stakes situations that generate anxiety.

For example: You need to terminate a long-term employee who's not meeting new role requirements. You've been losing sleep over it for weeks.

Here's where the technique comes in. Write down:

• Worst case scenarios: They cry, threaten legal action, bad-mouth you to the team

• Prevention strategies: Prepare documentation, have HR present, plan the conversation

• Repair strategies: Clear communication with the team, support for transition, professional references

Then script your opening and even practice your speech a few times to get more comfortable with the words. When challenges come up, act in accordance with your plan.

Why this works: Concrete plans reduce anxiety. When you know exactly how you'll handle even the worst outcomes, you can approach difficult situations with more confidence.

Your Next Steps

Experiencing emotional reactions at work doesn’t make you a bad leader. It makes you a normal human being.

Emotional regulation isn't about suppressing feelings - it's about choosing your response instead of letting emotions choose for you.

The more you practice these techniques, the more natural they become. Eventually, they transform from conscious tools into unconscious habits.

I believe in you, and I’m rooting for you.

Maya ❤️