How To Stop Giving A F*ck What Other People Think
At this point in my career, I rarely worry about what other people think of me, but that is not how it started.
A decade ago, all I thought about was what they would think. I was making my way through the corporate world, and it felt like I was lacking in every department.
I didn't dress professionally enough, and I couldn't match the Ivy League vocabulary. I thought everyone around me was smarter, and at some point, I compared myself with colleagues and came to the conclusion that I had no charisma or gravitas.
I was so occupied with what I didn’t have and what I couldn’t do that my confidence took a hit, and I became paralyzed. Fear and doubt guided my decisions, and it cost me greatly in time, money, and mental well-being.
If you are held back by the fear of what others might think of you, go for the promotion. If you raise your hand, if you push back… then it’s time to do something about it.
It took me a few years of trial and error, but I finally learned how to stop giving a f*ck what other people think, and I want to teach you how to do the same.
What giving a f*ck is costing you
Early in my career, I had an opportunity to make a big impact. I noticed a problem and had an idea of how to solve it. I was going to tell the CEO all about it when I started worrying about what my colleagues might think.
“She thinks she is better than us.”
“Miss know-it-all”
“She’s just kissing up to the boss.”
I went back and forth for weeks but then decided to take a chance and share my idea.
While some of my colleagues didn’t love it, that initiative landed me a leadership role on the spot and started a 10-year growth sprout.
When I interviewed for my first VP role, I was told they wanted to make an offer but wouldn’t give me the title. I was so worried about what my friends would think—they knew I interviewed for a VP role. I was concerned my future colleagues wouldn’t respect me (they were all VPs) and almost turned down the job.
However, in my efforts to not care what other people think, I decided to take the job and negotiate the title. Less than a year later, I got it.
Giving a f*ck what people think could have cost me years of career progression. Giving too much importance to others' opinions can result in self-imposed limitations that will put your career on hold, whether you realize it or not.
How to stop giving a f*ck what people think
7 years ago, I watched Sarah Knight's popular TED Talk, "The Magic of Not Giving a F*ck," and it changed my life.
While she explained how to stop caring what people think in every aspect of life, I took her advice and implemented it in my corporate career. The result? Accelerated career growth, personal fulfillment, and a lot less stress.
It’s a very simple approach that you can start applying right now!
According to Sarah, we have a limited amount of f*cks to give. Caring what others think costs time, money, and energy. So, to live a less stressful life, we need to stop giving our precious f*cks to things and people that don’t serve us. She calls it the "Not Sorry Method."
All you need to do is create a F*ck Budget:
This three-step process will help you prioritize what matters and discard the rest.
Identify Your F*cks: Begin by listing everything you care about in your career and personal life. This can include your goals, values, projects, and relationships.
Allocate Your F*cks: Review your list and prioritize these items. Determine which ones are truly important and deserve your time and energy.
Cut out Unnecessary F*cks: Look at the lower-priority items and decide which ones you can let go of. These things don’t align with your values or contribute to your goals. By eliminating these, you free up mental space and reduce stress.
Here are two quick examples:
My client struggled in her job search because an ex-manager told her she wasn’t good enough. Her entire career was filled with success stories that made her a Director, but one person’s opinion held her back.
When she eventually realized that the ex-manager, who was no longer in her life, was not worth her f*cks, she finally let it go. Just a few weeks later, she landed her dream role as a VP.
Another client was hesitant to leave a toxic workplace because it was a “brand name.” She was worried about how it would look to friends, family, and potential employers. Once she realized the only thing that mattered was her happiness, she stopped giving a f*ck and left. She landed a more senior role, negotiated a 5-figure raise (hey, she worked for a big brand, so she had leverage), and is now treated with respect.
This is what happens when you stop giving your f*cks to things and people who do not matter.
Your next steps
It is human nature to care what the people around us think. And some people’s opinion matters. But when we let what people think stop us from realizing our potential and living our best lives, we give them control over our careers and lives.
Why would anyone do that? Especially when those people are unworthy strangers?
Giving a f*ck = giving away your time, energy and money.
Next time you find yourself caring too much about what someone thinks, ask yourself: Is it worth my precious f*cks?
99% of the time, the answer is no.
I believe in you, and I’m rooting for you.
Maya ❤️
P.S. Watch the TED talk. It’s really good.
Comments