6 min read

The "Formula" To Building Relationships That Get You Promoted

Did you cringe when you saw “relationship building”?

This term is overused and often misunderstood, but it is absolutely crucial for your career growth. You may be thinking, "Networking? Isn't that just schmoozing and small talk?"

Trust me, I've been there. But then I had a wake-up call.

Picture this: I'm fresh into my role at Microsoft and invited to spend a few days in Redmond. I was going to stay for the three days of the event when my manager said: "Take a week for the 3-day offsite in Redmond. You have to network."

My first thought? "A whole week? For networking? You've got to be kidding me."

I was new to the team and Microsoft. The idea of spending extra days just . . . talking to people felt like nonsense, but I ended up doing it anyway.

A few months later, that advice turned out to be golden. Those relationships I reluctantly built? They became the secret sauce for a major win for our team and my career.

The Truth About Networking

I used to avoid networking, mostly because I had the wrong idea about what it was and no idea how to actually do it.

If you still believe networking means schmoozing, playing politics, or worse, sucking up to the higher-ups, no wonder you're avoiding it.

But here's the thing - real, effective networking isn't any of that.

It's about building genuine relationships and adding value.

"Oh great," you might be thinking, "another vague piece of advice. Just add value. Thanks a lot, Maya."

I get it. When I first heard this advice, I was just as confused. Do I send my stakeholders book recommendations? Do I offer to do work for them? Is it a daily thing or once in a blue moon? Should I be calling, emailing, or giving presentations?

The problem is that no one really explains what "adding value" actually means or how to do it effectively. So, let's demystify this process and get into the nitty-gritty of building those career-boosting relationships.

The Formula: Identify, Add Value, Repeat

Here's the process broken down:

Identify the right people: This isn't about targeting the highest-ranking executive you can find. It's about understanding who the key players are in your career trajectory. Who makes decisions about promotions? Who influences projects you want to be part of?
Add value in advance: This is where most people get stuck. But don't worry—we'll break this down further in a moment.
Rinse and repeat: Building relationships isn't a one-and-done deal. It's an ongoing process of consistently adding value and nurturing connections.

Let's zoom in on that tricky "add value" part.

What Does "Adding Value" Really Mean?

Adding value is about understanding what matters to your stakeholders and finding ways to contribute to their success. It's not about grand gestures or solving all their problems. Often, the small, thoughtful actions make the biggest impact.

For instance, let's say one of your stakeholders is understaffed and has been trying to hire for a critical role for 6 months. They're stressed and overworked, and this hiring gap is impacting their team's performance.

Here's where you can add value: If you know a potential candidate who might be a good fit, recommending them is a great way to add value.

Don’t know anyone who would be a good fit? Share the name of an agency or freelancer you’ve worked with to help them close the gap while waiting for the perfect hire.

You're not solving the entire staffing issue but providing a potential solution that could significantly help your stakeholders.

In my last VP role, I wanted to build a strong relationship with our new VP of sales. On one of our calls, I asked about his biggest problem. His answer? My team needs a new pitch deck. Creating a new pitch deck was my team’s responsibility, but it wasn’t our top priority. Nevertheless, after this call, I asked my team to rework our plan, and they delivered a new pitch deck a week later. My team got credit for the fast turnaround, and I won valuable points with my counterpart.

This kind of value-add accomplishes several things:

It shows you're attuned to the challenges they're facing
It demonstrates your willingness to help beyond your immediate responsibilities
It leverages your skills and knowledge for their benefit, showcasing your connections and influence

Remember, adding value doesn't always mean doing extra work or taking on new projects. Sometimes, it's about making connections, sharing insights, or offering a fresh perspective.

The Stakeholder Hierarchy of Needs: Your Secret Weapon

Let’s make the idea of adding value more actionable.

I used to wrack my brain trying to come up with creative ways to add value before it became a habit. That’s when I created the Stakeholder Hierarchy of Needs.

Think Maslow's Hierarchy but for your career. It's a framework I've developed to help you navigate the murky waters of adding value to your stakeholders. Here's how it works:

It’s a set of questions that guide you through different levels of value-adding.

Remove Obstacles: Is there any reason this stakeholder shouldn't support you?
Solve Immediate Problems: What's keeping them up at night?
Support Professional Goals: What are they aiming for in their career?
Align with Personal Goals: What matters to them outside of work?
Connect with Values: What principles guide their decisions?

Each level builds more trust and helps you build a stronger relationship. You're not guessing anymore; you're being strategic.

But here's the million-dollar question: How do you know what your stakeholders need?

How to Uncover What Your Stakeholders Need

At first, I struggled to find ways to add value. Some of my stakeholders were a few degrees of separation away, and I didn’t know enough to help them.

But over time, I learned a few tricks that gave me the needed information. If you’re not sure what your stakeholders need, try this:

Listen actively in meetings. Often, stakeholders mention challenges or goals in passing. If you are not invited to those meetings, watch a recording, read the transcript, or simply chat with someone who attended.
Talk to your stakeholder’s team members: If you can’t gain access to the source, connect with the people who spend time with them. They can provide insights into what's important to your stakeholder.
Do some online stalking: Your stakeholder may or may not have a social presence. If they do, you can look at past interviews, articles they wrote, or events they’ve attended to learn more about what matters to them.
When in doubt, ask: There's nothing wrong with a simple "What's the biggest challenge you're facing right now?" Seriously. One of the best things you can do for your career is a listening tour - finding out what your stakeholders need so you can take that into account when building your own strategy.

Adding value the right way requires some effort, but boy does it pay off in the long run.

The $50,000 Networking Advice

You may be telling yourself, “She’s got a point.” Maybe I should be more strategic in my relationship building, but…

Before you make any excuses, I want to show you the real-world impact of building relationships.

This past month, two of my clients were promoted, using networking in the process.

The first was promoted to a Director role despite a promotion freeze. And when I asked how he became the exception to the rule, he said:

"Building my internal advocacy board with leaders. Their words of support really drove visibility and amplified the case for my promotion.

Another client leveled up by moving into a new role with a $50k raise through a previous manager she stayed in touch with. The relationship she built while they worked together, was so strong that the company ended up creating the role specifically for her and is covering relocation costs.

That's the power of strategic relationship-building.

Your next steps

If building relationships is not a priority right now, you need to make it one.

You can’t really half-ass good relationship building; you need to be intentional if you want to reap the rewards.

So, here are your next steps:

Identify Your Key Stakeholders: Who influences your career trajectory?
Apply the Hierarchy: Start with level 1 for each stakeholder and work your way up.
Take Action: Find one way to add value this week based on your learning.

Remember, this isn't about becoming someone you're not. It's about strategically showcasing your value and building genuine connections.

You've got this. Now go build those relationships that'll accelerate your promotion!

I believe in you, and I’m rooting for you.

Maya ❤️